Thursday, May 14, 2009

This Morning's Thoughts

There are so many things around me. Church, work, people, need, music, chores, inner dialogue, outer dialogue, online communities. Noise. In some moments it feels like all the noise is jammed into an overstuffed closet in my soul and there is no more room at the inn. This is one of those mornings.

I sit in my big leather chair in the corner, reading my devotional, my Bible, then a book. And I just want to keep going. Keep reading. Thinking. Writing. Reflecting. All those words that really mean, “Trying to find God, myself and connect the two.”

I want to go to a shack. A cottage. A place where the breeze is just cool enough. The sun just warm enough. A place void of parenthood. Ministry. Responsibility. A place characterized by being; the lost art.

Some days my morning times in the chair are just enough to whet my spiritual appetite. “I could do this all day,” I think. And probably some days I should. But this modern wiring of mine is a funny thing. Modernity tells me that reflection, contemplation and these seemingly unproductive things are more akin to sloth. In truth I believe they are more a part of health. (Funny—even just now I wondered what time it was and if I should this moment, commence to shower, shave and get to the office.)

Do you ever tire of your inner dialogue? Do you ever get to the point where you no longer nit pick your personality, physique, spiritual life? I haven’t. Perhaps it’s the time of year; feeling tired and ready for a break. Tired of myself and tired of the grind. I feel the tension as spring settles in and summer comes near, to break for the summer. Somehow the natural rhythm of youth feels right as an adult. Work hard for nine, then off three.

But seriously, I do have to shower, shave and move away from what looks like sloth to get to the office. There is music to chart, meetings to meet and email to sift through. And so perhaps I need to add, “Make plans to vacation and replenish well this summer,” to my digital planner.

What about you---do you feel the need to get away to a place that's quiet...peaceful...void of the noise?